Haibun: Mirrors of Loss, first published in HumanKind Literary Journal. Stella’s voice now resonates in Through the Yew Hedge, distilling the fog of adoption into a single image.
Haibun
Mirrors of Loss
I can talk about how my mother surrendered me. Although a newborn, I knew. It mattered. She held me for nine months and in her arms for a brief hello. When I learned Sarah was not my first mother, I asked, “Will you leave me, too?” I worried, “Who will take care of me?” I dreaded a final separation. Ultimate loss: loss of self. I must have caused this pain of separation. Unwanted. Unworthy. With no one person to see in the mirror — no likeness. When I found my birth mother, I felt the wow of reunion, recovery, and self-realization. My fears abated in the knowing; maybe her fears did, too. Lessened, never lost.
Haiku
A sheer scrim ripples
over a girl’s image —
waking to now.
© Mary Ellen Gambutti