Agnes: Remembering
A Zuihitsu
Dear Friends, Readers ~ First, I want to thank you so much for your support. Your subscriptions mean a great deal to me. I’m especially thankful for the influx of new subs! 🫶
It’s Monday evening after Mother’s Day. I hope yours was one you’ll treasure, whether with your own children or your children’s children. Or, otherwise, quietly memorable or reflective of those days. I’m a day late getting this to you. Commemorative holidays carry more weight now, at seventy-four, than in my younger days. Not that I was ever a steadfast traditionalist, but I’ve been less so, perhaps because I’m no longer near my immediate family, neither biological nor adoptive. My daughter and her sons are in the Midwest, and we’re in New Jersey. My adoptive mother, who has been gone for several years, was a remarkable ninety-nine years of age when she passed, the same as her mother, my Nana.
Genes.
My first mother died at sixty-eight, a year after we reunited. I was 43. Poor Momma, she didn’t have the wherewithal to care for her children, at least one before me, several others after me.
I’d like to share a glimpse of my mom through a Japanese poetic form in fragments, Zuihitsu. Hope you’ll enjoy it!
***
The Announcement
February 19, 1952
Dear Lt. and Mrs. Caffrey: Here is good news! Baby Ruth Ann will be waiting for you in the Infant Home as soon as you tell us you can conveniently make the trip to Rock Hill. She was born on September 21, 1951, and is nearly five months old. She has brown eyes and dark hair and weighs about fourteen pounds. The baby’s nationality background is predominantly Irish and English…
***
Recording of Mom at age 96.
Tape clip 1.
“Dad’s family had a dairy farm in Saltillo, Pa. I remember a cave in the hillside where they stored milk and jarred goods. A stream ran through the cave…”
As soon as you feel that you can make the trip to Rock Hill, let us know so that we will be able to notify Sister Mathia of your coming. She will release the baby to you on any weekday between the hours of 10:00 and 10:30 or 2:00 and 2:30. The afternoon is the only convenient time on Sunday.
Tape clip 2.
“Mom, Dad, my brother, Vincent, and I lived in Orbisonia. Vincent was afraid of Dad’s horse. Vince had a nightmare the horse was down in the yard eating the dog. Once, Dad brought the horse into the house as a joke. It scared Vince to death…”
When you go to Rock Hill, you will go directly to St. Philip’s Hospital, which is on Confederate Avenue. Sister Mathia will go with you across the street to the Infant Home. You will want to take to Rock Hill whatever clothing you want the baby to travel in.
Tape clip 3.
“We moved to New York City on West Broadway in the Village when the coal mines closed in 1928. I went to school near Washington Square Park. I jumped rope in the street and played on the roof of Dad’s auto repair shop across the street. We moved to W.58th Street, across from Roosevelt Hospital, when I started high school. It was nice to live so close to Central Park.”
We suggest also that you bring a couple of sterilized bottles for feedings and a well-scalded thermos bottle in which Sister can put some of the baby’s formula.
*****
I remember Agnes…
1. gave up her nursing career to be an Air Force officer’s wife and adopt me,
2. played popular music on the radio on the kitchen counter, everywhere we lived.
3. laughed out loud at the TV comedy shows.
4. sat on the floor with me and played picture card games: Rustler, Old Maid, Fish.
One of our requirements during probation is that you send us a report letter each month. This is most important. If we have not anticipated all the questions you might have, just let us know when you tell us that you are going to make the trip.
With all good wishes,
Sincerely
*****
I remember Agnes…
5. was an excellent seamstress, sewed clothes for me and my dolls. She knitted and quilted, and we hooked wool rugs on canvas stretched on lap frames.
6. was a country girl at heart, always had a small breed dog, except when we were overseas. She loved the flora and fauna: exotic insects like praying mantids, and fed the rhinoceros beetles jam on bread when we lived in Japan. She tolerated the tadpoles I raised in pond water on my dresser and helped me locate the escaped mini fogs when they scattered.
Tape clip 4.
“My diary is falling apart. Kept it from 1939-1941 when I was sweet on Al and when we were courting. Not easy to love a seminarian. He left the Paulist Brothers in Baltimore to marry me. His mother pushed him to be a priest. You have no idea what a vamp I was! I went down to DC to visit Cousin Elsie and Aunt Katherine, and we took him out to dinner. But I never kept him from doing what he wanted to do. We married after the war, then he enlisted in the Air Force.”
I Remember Agnes…
7. was lonely when Dad was away on duty.
*****
Thanks so much for reading and for your continued support.
Mary Ellen